Peach Bellini: Great Expectations…or Reality Bites?

I present to you another wonderful guest column by Peach.

In high school, my best friend Murphy had a saying: “Life is full of Fridays, but none are as good as Thursdays.”

What did Murphy mean by that?

Well, I’m sure we all remember that Fridays were a big deal in high school. Fridays meant football games, house parties, and dances - the highlight of a teenager’s social existence. In high school, we spent all day Thursday fantasizing about how much fun Friday night would be. And when all was said and done, Friday night was fun…but nine times out of ten it was nowhere near as great as we had pictured it to be on Thursday.

Looking forward to the good times was half the fun of life, and - unfortunetly - that anticipation often eclipsed reality.

Murphy’s profound quote at the ripe age of 16 is more relevant to me now than ever. Last time I wrote, I talked about owning up to my decisions - no matter how obscure they seem. As I try to grapple with life in my late twenties, I realize that time is precious and we can’t take back the past - either to relive the good or change the bad.

And so, I choose to look forward. I spend hours, days - weeks even - planning for, looking forward to, and fantasizing about the good times to come. But what the hell am I really looking forward to if reality seldom lives up to my expectations?

It’s a simple case of Great Expectations v. Reality Bites.

Sexy Gwyneth Paltrow versus Dumpy Winona Ryder???

Both films star Ethan Hawke.

Coincidence? I think not...

Here’s a perfect example: Last December, the sorority-house-turned-frat-house-turned-brothel-turned-hostel where I lived in D.C. hosted a “Christmas in Miami” theme party. This party was going to be AMAZING. The event of the year.

Silvey and I spent weeks planning our Elf/Sexy Christmas Tree costumes. It consumed every conversation we had leading up to the party.

We g-chatted for days on end about whether Silvey would be able to find a battery-operated string of Christmas lights to adorn her costume so that she could stay lit throughout the night without having to plug into a wall socket.

Had Congress not been in recess for the holidays, we both would have likely been fired.

In the end, we were (not surprisingly) the tackiest, most-overdressed "Christmas in Miami" guests at the party. In fact, the majority of the other guests had decided that "Christmas in Miami" is best celebrated in tight black dresses that are truly Not Suitable For Work (This is actually okay to click on at work...). Although this is likely true, assuming you're actually IN the city of Miami, we obvisouly weren't cc'd on that memo:

Booberry: “And Silvey… she had a frickin’ generator in her pocket!”

The pictures turned out great and the memory of our "Christmas in Miami" party always makes me smile. To this day, it is still talked about by all as the night that "Silvey walked around with a generator in her pocket."

But the funny thing is, the party was a total bust.

The day after "Christmas in Miami", I remember talking with Silvey and the rest of the brothel housemates about how none of us actually had any fun. We sat around a partially-floated keg (that, for no apparent reason, had been moved into the middle of the living room at some point during the night) and we all agreed that the party just wasn’t what it could have been.

The night began with endless possibilities - like so many do - but in the end, I was left with nothing more than a pair of torn red tights, a horrendous hangover, a trashed house full of Miami Beach murals, and morning breath that smelled like an elf turd.

I suppose the easy lesson to take from the "Christmas in Miami" party is that we should learn to lower our expectations. Not get our hopes up. Avoid post party-um depression.* If we don’t build Great Expectations, then we won’t be left with Reality Bites. After all, every female out there knows that the night you don’t shave your legs is the night you finally hook up with your big crush.

*Post party-um depression: The intense letdown felt after a party, vacation, holiday, wedding, weekend trip, or other event in which you bought a new outfit, had your hair done, starved yourself for 36 hours prior, shaved, waxed, purchased a plane ticket, decorated, baked, cleaned, or invested any other financial expense, time commitment, or grooming ritual with nothing to show for it the morning after.

Life is full of amazing events, but all too often we forget to stop and value the time in between.

In hindsight, it doesn’t really matter that the actual "Christmas in Miami" party itself wasn’t the greatest night of our lives. Half the fun was the time spent preparing for it - and we should learn to value that time while it’s happening.

Even if reality seldom lives up to our expectations, all we can do is make a conscious effort to live in the present and keep up hope that one day (or night) reality may actually surprise us.

It sounds overly-simple, and it is.

I recognize that I don’t have a sitcom ending for this particular dilemma, because it is something that I struggle with in a larger sense each day. I get out of bed every morning hoping that this will be the day I jump-start a 5-pound weight loss, meet the man of my dreams, and have a breakthrough at work. It never is, but what’s the point of getting out of bed if I don’t even have hope that it could be?

In addition to “Life is full of Fridays, but none are as good as Thursdays,” my high school friend Murphy had lots of other sage advice that applies to the Great Expectations v. Reality Bites dilemma, and I’ll leave you with one priceless nugget in particular:

Always have a back up plan.

When Murphy and I went to a party one Friday night that didn’t live up to our Thursday expectations, we would bail on said-party and drive over to a popular local flower shop called The Garden Guru for some quality time with their sign.

The only people who hated failed expectations more than Murphy and I did must have been the weekend employees there.